November is National Adoption Month

November is national adoption month. Adoption month is typically used to make the public aware of adoption, foster care, and the many children who are waiting for families. There are over 126,000 children in foster care who need good homes, and government agencies work endlessly to be able to find homes for them.

As birthparents, this may seem shortcoming to the realities of adoption: surely there is more to adoption then just this. True. But even if they took the time to focus on the experiences of the adoptee, adoptive parent, and the birthparent, it would still be shortcoming to the various realties of adoption. Well, unfortunately a month is not long enough to give each aspect of adoption its rightful awareness. But that’s why we have this Forum, and why this month WE will look at the birthparents experience in adoption. Let’s take a trip back in history. How has the birthparent evolved over the years? 

A Ceremony for Placing your Child for Adoption

Whether you call it an “Entrustment Ceremony,” “Giving a Child in Love,” or just a “Placement Ceremony,” an actual ceremony that brings significance to placing your child for adoption can often be helpful. From a simple hospital prayer just between you and your child, to an elaborate hour long ritual with all your friends and family, these adoption ceremonies shed light on the emotional roller coaster of adoption and encourage healing.

There are many occasions in our lives that we celebrate, or sometimes mark in sorrow. We gather with our friends and family during these special times to share smiles, to recall sweet memories, and to start a new chapter in our lives. But most importantly, during times of need, we gather with friends and family to support each other. When a person makes the difficult decision to place their child for adoption, it becomes a time of need that often becomes less strenuous with support from others. What better way to show support, than to surround a birthparent with a loving ceremony that embraces them, their child, their child’s new family, and their choice of adoption?

Let’s talk about the ups and downs of labor and the hospital stay. How are birthparents treated differently? For those of you who experienced giving birth many years ago, what was it like? Did you get to see your child? Did you name your child? Were you treated with respect and like the new mother that you were? For those of use who have had more recent experiences with adoption, how did you choose to handle the delivery? Did you invite the adoptive parents along, and was it a good choice?

Most importantly, for all birthmothers, I would like to know how your experience with delivery affected you after you placed your child. Was it a moment and memory that helped you heal, or did it further break your heart? What do you wish could have been different? Please visit the Forum, and let’s talk about it.